I still feel tired and weak from all the thyroid cancer stuff, even tho i am in remission. yesterday i took Ash to her piano lesson, and usually after i get home im worn right out, and the next day or 2 im so tired i cant stand it. I will have to make appt with my new family doc to see about getting on disability for a while so i can have MA again cuz if i dont get the meds i need then i may as well be disabled. I also have a great deal of pain in my shoulder and neck from being rear-ended. If i lift stuff my shoulder and neck will hurt so bad and have spasms, even driving irritates it. And i still have bad migraines probably from all the pain in the neck and shoulder.
I do have help from my endo doc she gave me about 4 months od Synthroid and helping me get help through the ppl who make them. And getting help with my GERD meds and pain meds and another med but nothing for potassium chloride, which i need so that my arms and legs dont get numb.
I just wish i can feel better strengthwise, i hate this feeling of uselessness, i cant clean my house like i use to in a day. I get so tired being up for 1/2 hr washing dishes. Sometimes i just feel like burying myself in blankets and stay there forever. im freezing all the time now, cant remember what a hot flash feels like anymore. i cant remember anything anymore, i have to write everything down if not its forgotten sometimes i forget what i ate or if i ate lol. i have to ask my family what i made them for dinner the night before.
im still having a hard time feeling like God is here with me. i know what the Bible says that He wont leave me. its like im still in a dark place in my life and cant seem to get out of it i have been going to church but still confused about where i want to go i miss the one we attended for 5 or more yrs but like to help support my father in laws church for awhile the church hes at right now isnt very big and i like the time of the morning service it starts at 11 and its nice cuz i cant barely get out of bed before 10am. i feel like i did when i was seizure meds cuz that use to make me tired too. i need alot of hours of sleep, but feel tired more with no thyroid, and im so tired of explaning to ppl why i am so tired, yes i look good on the outside i dont look sick but its not ur body so u dont know what im feeling.
on a good note in 2 weeks from today is our 16th wedding anniversary dont seem like its been that long we have been married. We have been through alot in our marriage with health issues, he had cancer 11 yrs ago. we have been just so busy taking care of each other when one of us is sick that the time just flew. We started our marriage with me having epilepsy and he married me sick and he didnt have to, then 4 yrs later i had brain surgery to fix it, then 3 months later after my surg he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I had a hyterectomy when i was 30 in hopes of not telling my hubby i have cancer in those organs, but ended up with thyroid cancer. And that is all in the last 16 yrs. our daughter was born before my brain surg and hubbys cancer, she was 2 through all that. she came out perfect and beautiful even tho i was on seizure meds all 9months i prayed hard those 9 months i was preg so i cant understand why i cant pray like that now.
My mom has been giving me some money to spend on my house first she bought us a new couch and mark a recliner we have never had new furniture in the 16 yrs of marriage. Then she gave some money to buy what i want for mini blinds and curtains for the downstairs so i bought new curtains for kitchen, living room, and bathroom. Got new rods for them and got the thermal kind of curtains and darkening, the blinds are darkening too and i bought them for the doors and all the windows for those room now it all looks nice i love but waiting for mark to put up my rods for the doors so i can put curtains up for them i need to measure them up so i can cut curtains to fit the doors. i think its the nicest my house as been. sometime later ill do the rest for the upstairs but got myself worn out my putting them up but did have hubbys help putting up some of them. made me forget for awhile that i dont feel good til i stop and feel tired and i feel like i want to sleep for a few hrs.
