this was the day last year i heard those dreaded words, you have papillary cancerous tumor on your thyroid. The hard part was to go home and tell my best friend in life my husband. He didnt go with me, his mom took me so she was the first besides me that knew i told her as i was walking out the dr office.
I still dont feel good even after a yr from my diagnosis, everytime i have a day out like today it puts me down in bed for a couple of days, today was grocery day, and i had no help other than when i came home. Ash wasnt home shes at my moms for the week. Mark stayed home from work today he wasnt feel well in his belly, probably too much saurakraut. Im over tired as well since Hubby was in pain most of the night with his pain, so i stayed up with him and tried to help him if i did anything. he was suppose to take me grocery shopping tonight after work.
im still having anxiety attacks. And still have alot of pain in my neck and shoulder everything hurts on me tonight probably over did myself. im tired of feeling like this, im getting way beyond frusterated, with how im feeling and cant even go for my bloodwork since i have no health insurance. i have a phone appt with SSA to see about getting on some kind of disability, which i think i wont get, even tho i know i cant work, i cant even get my house cleaned, im not shy to work i like work i used to work back before i was married. now my work is taking care of hubby and daughter and homeschoolmom even tho my mind is not what it use to be i forget everything if i dont write it down. i cant comprehend things when people are talking to me.
i still find it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But i am starting to feel God's presence. i started another year of reading the Bible, i did devotions last yr but i couldnt keep up with the Bible in a year i had to stop in march cuz i kept falling asleep when reading it back in my hypo time. I have to learn my limits and make myself rest and lay down when i need too.
I cant imagine how im getting be feeling when im much older than i am now, im in my 30s and feel like im 70.
i feel like im going to fall asleep now typing this so i will leave with a verse that keeps popping in my head lately. Phil. 4:13.... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
