On oct 13th I had to stop my synthroid to be checked for cancer. I have labs on nov 4th and that cant come any soon. I did finally get my endo dr to start me on a lower dose when I can go back on it, hoping that it will help me not be so hot and sweaty and help me sleep better. but not sure if it will she may have to have me on 2 pills a day to make up and different dosage. but we will see. im wondering cuz its 25mcgs lower and I think if it were about 10 or 15 mcgs lower might help but that don't come in those doses they have to make it up by taking 2 pills. one thing about going hypothyroid for 3 weeks my husband loves it lol, cuz im freezing and not hot where I need a fan or something. this is my yearly check to make sure the cancer is still gone. they are checking my TSH, TG the TG is the cancer marker test.
I really do miss my thyroid, even on meds im terrible with my memory and gotten worse now cuz no meds. I had to stop taking them on my last day of my family vacation, we went down to Lancaster pa I love that place that's where my hubby and I honeymooned, and went back on our 6th annv and this yr. we took our daughter this time and if someone is reading this ash had 3 days of homeschooling all 3 days were where there she had school but not like u think, every place we went to was educational. she really loved the wolf sanctuary glad my hubby found that online to go to. it was great to get away from things for a few days as a family. id go down there anytime. we even went to sight and sounds that was awesome hubby and I didn't go on out honeymoon, and our daughter went last year with her youth group. so I wanted to go when we went down. when still on my thyroid meds I still slowed down quick the fri that week we went to the outlet malls (my glory place lol) and felt tired then sat was 2 Hershey things and I couldn't keep up with them I was like 4ft behind them and when we went to the wolf sanctuary I had to use my cane. I hate using my cane, im not that old that I have to use it lol but I do.
I don't know why I feel the way I feel since thyca Ive been thinking a lot of the past when hubby and I were dating and getting married. and how I think time just flew and I know people think its a midlife crisis but it started after I knew I had thyca. how I think theres time that was just wasted where I should've done some things and didn't do cuz I said I have all the time in the world, and we don't life is short. guess it was a wake up call for me. I have been feeling sad or apprehensive the last month or so thinking and pondering different things that are personal, about my life, being a wife, and being a mother but I wont get into details. I know some of the feeling is due to hypothyroid but I have felt this before I had to stop it. I guess ill have to sort all that out and trust in the Lord to help me through all this, I just have a lot of fears about it all. like I feel im not doing all I can for hubby and daughter. I have a hard time keeping the house clean so that makes me feel like a bad wife, its like thyca took a piece of me out, but im soooo tired all the time and no one understands, hubby thinks I should be able just get outside and walk and I cant I try and get really tired out and dizzy I need that treadmill that a friend has for me so I cant walk til I get tired and lay down instead of pushing it to get home then im sick.im not the outdoors kind of person anymore like he is cuz hes a hunter. I use to be always outside when I was little in the summer but hate winter, when I got in my teens then it got boring, and I don't like being outside in town, atleast at my parents they have 50+ acres and no ones around.....
but the best time I had was this month where I got to spend 3 full days with the 2 most important people in my life, and I was happy.
I feel like I am far away from God, I know He will never leave me that its me that moved but I don't know how to feel that He is here I have been reading my Bible everyday since the beginning of 2010 and am still reading it is harder now cuz a lot of the time what I read I forget or not "getting" what it is saying to me where I can learn something.
ive been busy the last few months in aug I was in ER 4xs for gallbladder pain and it was the 3rd dr who said its that and I need it out and the day I was to see surgeon I ended up in er again, and he said hed take it out the next day so I was admitted that day. I waited 9 hours for a room tho. no more pain there anymore. im glad I had that taken out. it felt like something exploded in me when it was flared up and all it was, was sludge no stones. and I am still looking for a fam dr its very aggravating that no one will take me and I don't know why they wont take me. I guess I do have health insur for a bit cuz of all my medical bills at the hosp and it was high lol
