not feeling well stil!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wish i can feel better soon im tired of the dizziness and lightheaded i feel. i have too much to do to be down in bed all the time. i checked my BP today seems low again and i was suppose to take ashley to her fire safety class and camp but didnt feel good so we didnt go. she has piano lessons 2mro but mom peet will be taking her since im not sure if i can drive with the way i feel. i have to get her portfolio done and meet with our evalutator. see im too busy to be sick. im still cold and cant seem to get warmed up. they said my thyroid nums are ok but i still feel crummy. ive been drinking alot but i wonder if i need another IV fluid again. seems like i perked up when i got it . the endo dr said could take up to 6 months before i feel better but thats a long time and it about the time i need to see her again. my taste is still not there.
i still feel like im alone and lost and cant find my way out. i feel discouraged like theres no end in this i wonder if this is what most cancer patients feel like i cant seem to shake it. my best friend from childhood said she envied my faith in the Lord, im not sure she would still say that now cuz im not sure anymore. i cant seem to find anyone to talk to about how i feel Mark dont understand even tho i thought hed be the first to understand being that he had cancer 11 yrs ago actually today it hes 11 yr cancerversary of when he was diagnosed.
i cant seem to pray i dont know what to say or feel when i try reading the bible has gotten hard too when that was my strength i love reading the bible i just cant get into anymore or with my whole heart like i was before i grew so much in the 2 yrs i read but now i feel like im lost and cant find my way and feel like i went backwards in my spiritual life and that scares me. i just feel very overwhelmed about everything thats why i thought i was having and anxiety attack last week. i have so much to do and cant do it house needs cleaning i have places i need to go things i need to do and they think stay at home wife/mothers arent busy and we are whether we are sick or not i dont know if i do to much to soon or what ....... well i need to go to bed im tired i dont know what tomorrow will bring but guess ill find out