Faith like a mustard seed

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor. 12:9-10

So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20

In the last few days these verses have hit me and made me think. I have always wished i had faith like a mustard seed, its alot of work to have faith like that even more work when you are going through something that you feel has broke you. That is how I have felt in months since my diagnosis of thyroid cancer. I felt my faith went and hid on me, and that God left me or punished me for something, but I know its a test of my faith and that He never left me He was always there in my weakness, its to make me stronger in my faith, and to find strength in my Lord. One verse i had to chuckle cuz it talks about God has all your hair numbered, but im sure my hair count has gone down quite a bit with all this thyroid stuff........But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10:30

I have been feeling alot stronger in the last few weeks i even went on 2 short walks to our local grocery store its about 1/2 mile to and back from there so i walked a mile last week which is alot for me, before i couldnt walk up my stairs without feeling out of breath. I still havent been sleeping to good. I have been eating ok i guess still cant taste foods too well but still eat some. I have been getting out of bed before 10am for the last week, i use to get up at 7 with my hubby and get his lunch around and then have my quiet time with the Lord before Ash would get up. I use to love the mornings i always felt the closest to God in the quietness of the mornings. I have always believed that if you start your day with the Lord first your day will be better and blessed cuz the Lord should be first in our lives and the start of everyday, even before breakfast. And I still believe that way, and I like to get back into doing that... I miss seeing my Mark before he goes to work, and im sure he misses me making his lunches. i havent gotten up with Mark since my first thyroid surgery back in dec 2011.

This morning when I got up, I read my Bible like always did but today was different I felt my heart open up a little and the verses on the very top of here is some of what i read and its like something hit me that when i am at my weakest God is there to give me strength. And today I prayed for the first time in months with the help of one of my favorite authors, Stormie Omartian, and in her book had the mustard seed verse which all kinda goes together. It felt good to pray again and talk with the Lord again it brought me  almost to tears. Now if I can get back into doing this daily and more often, i use to pray many times a day especially when i was worried about Mark driving for his job.

I heard someone said every relationship goes through a "winter" season whether it be a marriage relationship or your relationship with the Lord and i think i have been through a "winter" one with the Lord but feeling now that winter is coming to an end or starting to end and the next season it going to start. I just have to continue on this journey i started back in 2010 and continue walking with the Lord. I had this peace this morning when i read The Word today something i havent had in months.  And there something i learned in the last few months that my husband had been and is praying for me something i never knew he ever did, or cared too it is nice to hear that from him. I have had a hard time believing he loves me or feeling his love and wondered if he cares. I hope he will always pray for me, when i pray i have always prayed for Mark for everything, and that we would be closer as a couple and in the Lord.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Eph. 5:31