tomorrow i go see my endocrinologist. to see about starting my diet for my RAI treatment. I wish this was all over with. makes me nervous to start this diet (LID) im afraid ill do something wrong. my mom is coming over to watch Ashley tomorrow while we go (Mark and i) after Mark gets off of work, he wants to go and ask some questions. i hate the fact i have cancer but i guess i cant do nothing about it. Just keep trusting the Lord during the storm. ill be on this LID for my bday which wont be fun cuz i cant eat what i want on my bday and then if i figure right ill be getting the I-131 on Mark's bday... but at least ill be able to get back to eating after the treatment. i was afraid i wouldnt be eating my Easter dinner in April. i heard and read that i will be getting weak in the second week of the diet so i figure after i go grocery shopping saturday ill make things ahead for me to freeze so all i will do is get it out of the freezer and eat, if i feel like eating then ill probably be sick of the food by then....
my walk with the Lord is i think shaking still but everyone goes through it i guess. i feel im in a dark area in my life and its scary and i feel alone, and no one understands it. i thought my husband would since he had cancer but guess not. I love him very much and im blessed God gave me him and Ashley.
i think i over did today on my shoulder which still hurts. I just had to clean my kitchen up and arrange things around neatly. now im in alot of pain again and its getting tiring to have pain which is going up my neck into my head and giving me a migraine.
I have found some verses in my daily reading that i have noticed that is what i needed for that day and i know the Lord is the one who is giving it to me. He knows what and when i need them to keep me reminded He is there when i feel no one else is. the one i read today is
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
this blog has been helping me get my feelings out and helps me to deal with things in my life right now. i feel at peace when i type it all out since i feel i cant talk about it to a certain someone in my life even tho i should feel i can. and that i have been reading my bible still even tho i feel like i want to quit reading it but i know i need to read everyday and not like the devil get me down... cuz all those feelings are the devil telling me not to that God wont listen to ur prayers i know He does and wants me to pray but right now i dont know how or what to say in my prayers right now i feel lost. in a few weeks i will be completely alone since i cant be around no one when i get my treatment. i hate staying alone in this house, especially at night. well i guess ill get off here and hopefully get some sleep tonight i havent been sleeping well with all the pain im in that no one seems to care about....
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy1:7
No comments:
Post a Comment