dreading September

I am planning my LID stuff before i start this time, but first im baking goodies for my family and freezing them so they will have goodies when i dont feel like making any. i have been really stressing about this LID this time. i starved last time and didnt expect to be as sick as i was. i wish all i had to do was stop the Synthroid which i will have on sept 5, but i have to do LID i hate it. i have been crying off and on about all this i dont know if its cuz im so nervous about this or if its my thyroid not being there anymore. I have been crying since all this started as well.
i just wish i didnt feel so far away from my hubby and God. i feel so lost, and alone i dont think i ever felt like this. i always had someone around me all my life. i went from my parents home to my home i have with my hubby i was 19 when  we met and married, and i was still living with my parents then.  if someone would have told me then that at 34 i would be diagnosed with thyroid cancer i would think they were crazy, i can see if it were cervical, uterine or ovarian or even breast cuz all the runs in my family even colon. But never thought of thyroid cancer. i forgot everyone has a thyroid, and took for granted what the thyroid does for ur body. it controls so much of our bodies, like emotions , weight, temperature of ur body. I always said when they took some of my brain out that i lost my temp gage but now its worse with no thyroid. My emotions have been way off the charts, i have been crying for no reason sometimes there was a reason but most times its no reason. i still havent been sleeping well. Probably that will change when i become "hypo" i was always sleeping then. But then comes being moody and cranky and mean and probably more crying. i still feel overwhelmed about this all, and dont know who to talk to about this other than talking to people online who has suffered with thyroid cancer. i think they are the only people who understand about it all.
Well i was happy that my daughter had her physical today with her ped dr and he gave her a clean bill of health and has now reached the 5 foot mark.  she was 60 and 3/4s tall today. im glad shes healthy and hope she stays that way. im still thinking how am i gonna teach her homeschool wise when im hype my mind was mud then and she always needs help with her math which she has a online class she watches. guess daddy will have to help some when im hypo. i cant wait til sept is over. i have my scan for the 25th of sept, but i still have a bad feeling about it, and i dont like it cuz its usually right, i want to be wrong.